What to tell children about the news from Japan?

By Atle Dyregrov PhD and Magne Raundalen, psychologists, Center for Crisis Psychology, Bergen, Norway

The coverage from Japan contains very graphic pictures and situations. Boats and cars are thrown around like matches. Children are being lifted into helicopters and form lines to check for radiation. The images are played again and again. News reaches children through the front pages of  newspapers, TV, radio and internet.  After following other news storms over the last years, we as professionals want to inform adults on how to handle this situation in relation to children. The following advice is relevant for those who work with children as well as parents. As adults we are shocked about what has happened, but for most of us our feeling of safety is not threatened. We strongly advise adults to have conversations with children that increase their feelings of safety and calm, conversations that can decrease children’s anxiety.

We know that many children are following the news and update themselves on what is happening in Japan, and they may struggle to understand what has happened. This is why we have to meet children with open and direct conversations. We have already had messages from kindergartens and parents that tell us that children as young as four and five are concerned about what they have seen on TV. Children may talk among themselves about this and then continue to think afterwards. A mother reported that her daughter of 4 ½ had heard about the waves in Japan on the car radio as well as seeing the pictures on the “outside of the newspapers”. What the smallest children first and foremost need to know is that we are safe and they are safe.

Children, who are 7 to 8 years, more actively engage themselves in such news as they understand more. They have fairly distinct concepts about what a country is, where Japan is located on the globe, and they understand far more about the force in a tsunami. They also have concepts to understand that an earthquake can make a gigantic wave. They are concerned about explosions, and their attention can be drawn towards the dangerous atomic plants.

Let us start by how you can talk to a child:

During the last few days and for many days ahead news about Japan will come first on TV, will be on the front page of newspapers and on news pages on the internet. The news is terrible. They describe how houses, boats and cars were destroyed, and all the people who were either killed, or survived but the huge wave had destroyed everything they owned.  It was an earthquake that made the big wave. An earthquake happens when very large plates inside the earth move and hit each other. The earth consists of several layers and when two layers hit each other, one moves under the other. When that happen enormous amounts of water is set in motion. They move in all directions, as you see when a stone is thrown into water. The wave moves fast, but luckily it gradually loses its power. Places near the earthquake’s centre will be most damaged.

When an earthquake happens, the earth shakes a lot, depending on how strong the earthquake is. You may have seen this on the pictures from Japan.  When the earth shakes a lot, things fall from the walls and the roof. In Japan they have been very good at preparing for earthquakes and they build houses very strong so they are not damaged by the shaking. But the wave was so big that it was impossible to prepare for it and therefore so many things were destroyed. Because they have good warning systems many people were able to move up to higher ground where the wave couldn’t reach them.

A problem for Japan is that the whole country is over an area with plates that move. Other countries have little or no earthquake activity, as in the Scandinavian countries.  Countries where there are much earthquakes make plans on what to do if an earthquake happens and such plans are now being followed in Japan.  In Japan the children have earthquake drills in school, like we have fire drills.

When we explain this to you, it is important to know that there is a difference between being alarmed by and being afraid or scared. When adults become very alarmed by what happened in Japan it’s because what’s happened there is so terrible, not because we are frightened or scared that it will happen here. You do not need to become anxious either; you are as safe as you always have been.

As parents and teachers we become sad and a bit upset when hearing about this. That is because we see the enormous forces that are inside such a wave and how big the damage becomes. We are also glad that there were none of our loved ones that died, but are saddened by the losses of all those who lost family members, their houses and all their belongings. At the same time, we now know that the whole world will help Japan. Then their houses can be rebuilt and all the rubbish cleaned. We know that gradually the situation will become better for those who lived where the disaster happened.

If you’re thinking about what has happened, know that we are there for you to talk and explain as well as we can. When we talk with others about things that concern us or make us upset, it often feels better. Then worrying thoughts can go away or at least become less worrying.

Dilemma involved in talking with children about what has happened

One dilemma that may face us if we are to discuss what has happened in Japan with children, at least if they are below 9 years of age, is that some of them may be totally unaware of what happened and therefore have not given it a thought. Should we then risk them starting to think about something they did not already think about? Our first answer is that children usually do not become frightened about hearing of something terrible out there in the world, if they at the same time sense that we as adults are calm and secure. However, with the extent and intensity of the media coverage in this case, it is difficult for children not to become affected.

We would also advise parents and teachers to mentally prepare what you are going to say if the subject of the tsunami in Japan spontaneously comes up in conversations, whether at home, at school or in the kindergarten. It is quite likely that kids that have entered school are thinking and discussing this topic, and it is important that children’s need for information about earthquakes and tsunamis are met. We think that experiences learned from the 2004 tsunami easily can be incorporated in a plan for how to deal with the present tsunami.

If you are a parent, you can as a mother or father sound out the subject by asking if there has been anything in the news that has frightened them and that they want to talk about. If as a teacher, at school or in kindergarten, you have been challenged to talk about the topic or you overhear conversations among the children, it is important that the parents are informed of what has been said so they are able to follow up on this.

Our problem as adults is, both as parents or teachers, of course, that it is difficult to grasp the magnitude of the disaster and thus not easy to explain to children. But as adults we still have schemas to use to organise our thoughts about what we see and hear. Because of our knowledge and life experience we are not faced with the thought that it can happen here.  We want children to be able to share in this feeling of safety.  For this to happen, they need explanations and concepts that will help them organize the information they are receiving, leaving them less confused and with fewer scary thoughts. Good information, under safe and calm circumstances, reduces children’s fear and distress.

As parents, teachers and kindergarten teachers adults have an important task; to make children feel safe.

To preschool teacher

As already written, we think that children in the kindergarten age can take in the news about the tsunami. They can see fragments on TV, overhear news on the radio or listen to adults talk. Often older siblings or friends convey news, imprecisely. Children sense that this is frightening, but lack the ability to assess to what degree this concerns them. We will advocate that an initiative is taken among the oldest preschool children, to check what they have heard and understood. Ask the children what is in the news in order to correct any misperceptions or misunderstandings. If children do not show any interest in the subject it is ok not to go further – but you can only be sure of this if you have first inquired about their thoughts.

General advice on talking with children

Do not wait and see

As an adult for children you should actively check what children have taken in concerning potentially upsetting news. News from a far can come close when media brings them into one’s home every day. Remember that every newspaper or news webpage has a front page. All children able to read can read this and the pictures can be present on tables in the house. The worst front pages should not be in children’s view.

Children need to understand

Think about what you will say when your child has been exposed to front pages and other strong news stories like; here the wave comes; this wave killed thousands of people, etc. When we cannot protect them from such exposure, we need to help them understand, to reduce fear and anxiety and store information in “calm” places in the brain. It might be a good idea to first try your thoughts out together with other adults.

Children need words

Children need words and concepts that help the child understand on their level. If children get a better understanding of what has happened and why, it may reduce unnecessary fear and worry. Even small children may need to understand what an earthquake or tsunami is (see www. http://1.usa.gov/eNOcsp and http://bit.ly/dTFnta for more information for children). It may also help to explain things like “happens very seldom, almost never” and provide calming information about one’s own reaction; “I am not afraid”. Older children need for you to explain why you feel safe.

Our best adult explanations

When horrible things happen, children want clear messages from caring adults. If strong feelings are in motion, they have problems of storing the explanation in memory. They need it repeated. They can become confused if there is too much variation each time they hear it. The explanations must not become worse from time to time. That means that the worst must be part of the first explanation. They want, and deserve, our best adult version.

Open to understand – close to get peace

The difficult conversation has as its aim that the child will understand and be calmed by talking about it. Then we must make sure that this is achieved. When we open up to talk about the worst, we need them to understand that this is to help them grasp and understand worrisome thoughts. The goal is not to stir strong feelings or worrisome thoughts; but rather to reduce painful feelings and thoughts that the child already has.

Conclusion

It is important to meet children with explanations and facts following a disaster of this magnitude. That means that parents and teachers must supplement this guide with new information as it arises. Children should be promised that they will be updated.